Wednesday, May 31, 2006

No, I've Got No Explanation 


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Brainknowledgeably Wizzy 

Occasionally, in the course of writing an otherwise unremarkable post, you find yourself reading the wikipedia entry for Flavor Flav. And you see this...

Born in Roosevelt, Long Island, New York, Flav, a classically-trained pianist...

...and that sort of brightens up your morning. In a WTF way.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Have Added Text Ads 

From: [Operative]
To: Alex Pareene
Date: May 21, 2006 2:38 AM
Subject: You better talk to her about it, you're her blogger now

You understand that it was a reference to the fact that the first thing that comes to mind when someone says "internet videos" is porn, and the first funny porn joke I could think of is the ping-pong ball thing, innit? Since when are ping-pong balls a prop used solely by Asian whores? Assuming that that is an actual thing that is done, rather than a really cheap, easy joke? Hell, I would think whores would be above that kind of thing anyway...it's really more of a stripper gimmick.

Anyway, I just enjoy the fact that Malkin thinks I'm the "bottom of the barrel." It's a shame that you have to bear the brunt of the U R SO GAY assault.

I'm sorry if I offended Asians or women in general. I just meant to insult Malkin.

That said, it is kind of funny.

I couldn't resist sharing this minuscule little brouhaha with [old friends] on the way to Grumpy's NE, and their collective response, of course, was, "Who the fuck is Michelle Malkin?"

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

A Peek Behind the Curtain 

[14:18] David: do you like camping or outdoors-y activities
[14:18] Alex: not particularly.
[14:18] David: ok, good

Monday, May 08, 2006

Job Listing: Intern Needed 

Your chance to be a famous official Wonkette intern! Please save me from having to repost this on Wonkette and wade through 200 unfunny applications for the couple great ones.

Basically: If you applied before, it's 90% likely that no one got back to you and you're pissed and stopped reading in a huff and would like to throw a brick through my window. More power to you! Feel free to submit again!

The job entails: Being online for 1 to (at the most) 3 hours a day every weekday, having a very basic ability to craft a one-liner or at least a sarcastic aside. There may be more responsibilities created, depending on how totally awesome you are and how much you needle me into letting you do more.

So -- send me an email, no attachments, telling me who you are. I recommend sending it to alex [at] wonkette .com, mostly out of my totally futile and quixotic mission to maintain some facade of difference between work and personal life. Ha, right. Good luck.

Benefits: monetarily small, but not non-existent. Also: you're totally invited to karaoke night.

Washington DC residence preferred but not required by any means. College students ditto.

Understanding why this is funny ditto.

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