Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Sting 

Shortly after Broken Social Scene took the stage on Saturday at the Pitchfork-curated Intonation Music Festival, singer Kevin Drew announced to the audience: "We just decided 20 minutes into arriving in New York that it would be a good idea if we went and bought marijuana. And Dave preceded to get the shit kicked out of him by four policemen, ladies and gentlemen! He got thrown in jail for 24 hours!"
It happened on Thursday night. As Newfeld was being driven from Canada to New York by a friend to play a gig with Broken Social Scene at Central Park SummerStage, his pal and driver decided to stop off and score some weed...in Washington Square!
So, our Shaun Hunter exchanges $20 with a dealer in the park while Newfeld stands by watching the events unfold. As Newf tells it: "We walk around the corner, and all the sudden I'm tackled in a football style attack, like a mugger would do, you know? You grab the person and catch them by surprise and they ambush in a football tackle. And then they're like, 'Police, police, police! Fucking put your hands behind you!'" Due to the lax drug laws in Canada, Newfeld says he didn't connect what he assumed to be a mugging with his schwag score, assuming the "police" claim was a ploy by thugs to keep their victims passive for an easy stick-up.
-Pitchfork News

Shortly after beginning their set at last weekend's Fake an Affinity For Radio-Friendly Pop Music Festival, Craig Sterile, frontman of Manitoba-based twee-goth band How Green Was My Rudy Vallee made an announcement to the crowd: "Frank just had his ass kicked by the NYPD for trying to get Gay Married!"

It happened Thursday as Frank Robust, How Green's manager and sometime keyboardist, drove into New York for the first time, accompanied by a male friend. "My buddy said he knew the city pretty well, and we were down on 14th, and he said 'let's just go down to Union Square.' Well we get down there, and there are a couple loose-looking Ministers and a Justice of the Peace or two, and my friend says, 'fuck it, let's just get gay married.'"

Robust stood by and watched his friend approach a man in a long black robe. $20 was exchanged, and the judge asked the two men to face each other while he began reading their vows and preparing the necessary documents. "I guess we'd just promised to honor and cherish one another, when suddenly two big burly guys tackle me from behind and just start kicking the shit out of me." Robust, used to the lax treatment of sodomites by the Canadian government, didn't even connect his beating to the unnatural act he'd just been participating in.

"They kept shouting 'Police! Put your hands behind your back!' And I thought maybe they just had an objection to the wedding, which, frankly, I was beginning to develop some doubts about too. I mean, he's a nice guy, but he's terrible about commitment and never picks up after himself."

Later, recovering in the hospital from a broken collarbone, Robust was presented with charges of First-Degree Subversion of Moral Values and two counts of Legislating From the Bench.

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