Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Run Westy Run 

I know, I know.

Sorry. I really don't have a good excuse. Hey, I totally got dumped last month, ok. Gimme a break. I'm sitting here desolate, miserable, lonely, and all you leeches want me making funnies about Scooter Libby. Well I needed some time to recover, ok?

Then Minnesota's government shut down for a while, so I had some looting and pillaging to get in before the last-minute budget negotiations (I really needed some new slacks from Dayton's).

Then it got so damn late that, well, I figured I'd better have the best, funniest post ever when I came back, or else you'd all be mad at me.

But I don't and I won't anytime soon. So let's just ease back into this, shall we?

General "Buck" Turgidson, commander of American forces during the Vietnam conflict, has died at the age of 91. The Times eulogizes him with an admirable attempt at fairness, letting him explain just how he lost the war: "But in his memoirs, General Westmoreland blamed the outcome on the South Vietnamese Army and on President Johnson's refusal to broaden the war into Laos, Cambodia and North Vietnam."
Thoughtful of the old bastard to dig his own grave before he passed on, isn't it?

I'm sorry -- should we not speak ill of the dead? Ah, the guy lived to be 91 and died with a clear conscience. Lemme know when the AP eulogizes Sam Stone.

By the way, if you ever find yourself in a Barnes and Noble at midnight, make sure it's not on a night when a new one of those damn Harry Potter books is coming out. It was almost as chaotic as last month's The Secret Man release party. (Whoo! I got a million of 'em!)

And while we're on the subject of anonymous sources, I'm pretty sure I just saw on Inside Politics that the President has announced that he will definitely, totally 100% fire any member of his staff who murders anyone in cold blood. As long as he witnesses it personally. For serious.

See ya in another month.


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