Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Sweet Little XVI 

I have just received word that the Emperor Pope has dissolved the council conclave permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic Vatican II have been swept away..*

Hooray! Huzzah! The Child-Rendering Plants at the Olive Garden's Experimental Culinary Institue in Rome have belched forth black smoke, which means WE HAVE A POPE, or as they say in Latin (but not Latin America, where they're all mopey for some reason), cave papam.

And what a Pope we have! Our new Vatican City Madman is Cardinal Joseph "Ratzo" Rizzo, former head of the Panzerdivision For the Doctrine of the Faith and ol' JP2's personal muscle. He also shoots laser beams from his hands, and, though he's almost as old as our last, dead pope, he's healthy as can be (aside from occasional bouts of melting).

Now BOW before Pope Eggs Florentine! Bow before the Pope NOOOOOWWWW!!

*(italicized picture captioning borrowed from the hardest-working man in Norbizness, Official Pope Picture courtesy Jesus' General)

UPDATE: Hey, he's lookin' at Negroponte! Hee hee hee! I'm gonna post a picture of Kissinger in between 'em, lookin' all like, "hey, be cool, Pope Ratzo, be cool -- Johnny didn't know they were your nuns..."

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