Thursday, March 03, 2005

You Know, I Never Would've Passed Without That Princeton Review Course 

High School About To Become Less Tolerable
On the East End of Long Island, the East Hampton School District is venturing into this terrain with a proposal to use breath analyzers on students suspected of being intoxicated in high school.

For those keeping score at home, the list of rights you have when you enter a public school currently reads:

1st Amendment
2nd Amendment
3rd Amendment
4th Amendment
5th Amendment
6th Amendment (Note: Amendments 5 and 6 no longer apply to anyone)
7th Amendment
8th Amendment (High School is built around "unusual punishments." On the plus side, they can't kill ya' anymore!)
9th Amendment
10th Amendment

Frankly, that's a still a few too many for my taste. But don't worry, parents -- they'll be quartering soldiers in your rowdy teenager's room by next fall. In fact, I think ABC's developing a show about it. Unenumerated Rights -- Thursdays at 10!

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