Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I Was Out Late the Other Night 

President-For-Life Sheelzebub is taking applications for Cabinet Appointments.

I've always considered myself good tyrannical dictatorship material, so I've obviously got my eye on a few positions. But it's so hard to narrow the choices down -- look at the openings:

Minister of Village Green Preservation; Undersecretary of Honky-Tonkin'; heading the Department of Monkey Business; Chairman of the Sideways Was Overrated Committee; Secretary of Dandyism, Foppishness and Coxcombry; Speaker of the House Party; Minister of Bands That Sound Like Television... or, of course, Director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.

Perhaps, in honor of our departed Doctor friend and the fact that I'm going to see Jon Langford on Friday, I'll declare myself Minister of Fear and Whiskey.

And you shall all tremble before the power of literate leftist country-punk! I shall tour and record for almost 30 years with recognition and respect only from rock critics and aging hipsters! I will see country and punk merged with great success and renown by other artists a decade after having pioneered it! I will be a test of musical snobbery! I will be really fucking good, seriously!

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