Tuesday, February 15, 2005

I Knew Danny Glover Was Connected to Mohammed Atta 

I had this whole post about this site, specifically the portion of it that claims that over this last summer I wasn't a run-of-the-mill "canvasser" for a political non-profit, but rather a violent felon who worked for a "shadow party" and intimidated people into voting through threats of violent consequences for those who didn't, but then Firefox, memory hog that it is, crashed and I lost it, which is a shame, but you should check out the site anyway, because some of your friends might be on it -- really, their definition of a "network" is pretty loose, unless someone smarter than I can come up with a way to meaningfully link (and this is just in the "media" section) fellow nasally Minnesotan Garrison Keillor, Norman Mailer, Al Jazeera, and Paul Krugman, who, the website happily reports, is a socialist, according to noted economist Bill O'Reilly (later amended to "quasi-socialist") -- the whole list reads like it's being said by a B-list celebrity in the final round of The $25,000 Pyramid, and as I scanned it I kept shouting "Things you find in the kitchen! Things you find in the newsletter of the John Birch society! Things that keep David Horowitz awake at night!"

It's all very ominous and makes me feel dangerous, like George Soros is going to invite me to his underwater moon-base (he's that rich) and say, "here's $2 billion and a soy latte, go character-assassinate a decent, hard-working Christian White House correspondent -- my corrupt mafia-linked AFSCME henchmen will assist you, and your limousine will be arriving shortly -- Allah Akbar!"

UPDATE: Welcome, fellow members of the International Leftist/Islamofascist Conspiracy! Check out the rest of my site to see the amazing (true!) connections between Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and The Nation (he was kicked off the masthead for not supporting the Sandanistas)!

Note: Aforementioned connection not actually mentioned in rest of site.

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