Monday, January 24, 2005

Life During Wartime 

Thomas "Some People Are About to Get Free!" Friedman is still reporting live from a rhetorical device in his latest column, which, conveniently, can be summarized with the lyrics to the song I happened to be listening to while reading it: "Animals" by the Talking Heads. Just replace each reference in the lyrics to "animals" with "Europeans" -- it's fun!

by David Byrne and Thomas L. Friedman

I'm mad...And that's a fact
I found out...[Europeans] don't help
[Europeans] think...They're pretty smart
Shit on the ground...See in the dark.

They wander around like a crazy dog
Make a mistake in the parking lot
Always bumping into things
Always let you down down down down.

They're never there when you need them
They never come when you call them
They're never there when you need them
The never come when you call them down down down down.

I know the [Europeans]...Are laughing at us
They don't even know...What a joke is
I won't follow...[Europeans]'s advice
I don't care...If they're laughing at us.


They say they don't need money
They're living on nuts and berries
They say [Europeans] don't worry
You know [Europeans] are hairy?
They think they know what's best
They're making a fool of us
They ought to be more careful
They're setting a bad example
They have untroubled lives
They think everything's nice
They like to laugh at people
They're setting a bad example
(Go ahead) Laugh at me.
(repeat until fade, or 800 words)

Extra credit: Do it again, in reverse!
All that the [animals] care about is being able to say to George Bush, "We told you so."

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