Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I'm Afraid of Americans 

I've been pretty quiet lately because I'm terrified. By everything I see and read. I'm scared of this and this and this and shit, I'm even scared of getting the flu.

Why am I so scared? Because of John Kerry.

The man has terrified me with threats of terrorists with nuclear bombs, of tainted third-world poison masquerading as socialized Canadian prescription drugs, of white people stabbed by crackheads in black neighborhoods while trying to vote, and of higher taxes.

Mr. Kerry, cease this fear-mongering! The American people will not be terrified into supporting your endless war against an ill-defined enemy! And they will not let that war distract them from your attempts, well-documented and easily verifiable, to reverse every liberal public policy reform of the 20th Century! So just give it up already.

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