Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Get Your Smear On
For those of you not keeping up with your campaign dirty trickery and crony capitalism vis-à-vis Sinclair Broadcasting, as detailed on every single one of the internets (here, here, and here, for example), a corporation controlling a number of local television stations across the country, with ties to the Bush campaign and the defense industry, is forcing its affiliates to run a Kerry smear movie funded by the newly merged POWs For "Truth" and Swift Boat Veterans for "Scare-Quoted Truth" organizations. Many of the quid-pro-quo insinuating details are here.
As part of their plan, they're offering Kerry the chance to respond to the film's allegations in an interview to be played immediately afterward. In light of Michael "No Sex, Please, We're Deregulated" Powell's recent crusade against tits both pixilated and bare, alone and in pairs, I have a brilliant, election-winning solution for John Kerry.
Demand that the post-movie interview be live and undelayed. Then, as soon as the cameras are rolling, let loose with a string of obscenities. Try to get just enough "fucks" and "cocksuckers" out before your mic is cut to bankrupt the already poorly-performing Sinclair Broadcast Group.
The interview can go something like this:
Angry Guy: Senator Kerry, what do you have to say to the thousands of--
John Kerry: Fucking shit-assed cock-faced cunt-lapping motherfucker. John O'Neill is a douchebag. Can I say "douchebag"? I mean dumb fucker. What are we up to, now, $10k per affiliate?
Angry Guy: Senator Kerry, why have you consistently refused to respond to charges that--
John Kerry: Because you're a rimdiving asshole. Shit shit shit. |
As part of their plan, they're offering Kerry the chance to respond to the film's allegations in an interview to be played immediately afterward. In light of Michael "No Sex, Please, We're Deregulated" Powell's recent crusade against tits both pixilated and bare, alone and in pairs, I have a brilliant, election-winning solution for John Kerry.
Demand that the post-movie interview be live and undelayed. Then, as soon as the cameras are rolling, let loose with a string of obscenities. Try to get just enough "fucks" and "cocksuckers" out before your mic is cut to bankrupt the already poorly-performing Sinclair Broadcast Group.
The interview can go something like this:
Angry Guy: Senator Kerry, what do you have to say to the thousands of--
John Kerry: Fucking shit-assed cock-faced cunt-lapping motherfucker. John O'Neill is a douchebag. Can I say "douchebag"? I mean dumb fucker. What are we up to, now, $10k per affiliate?
Angry Guy: Senator Kerry, why have you consistently refused to respond to charges that--
John Kerry: Because you're a rimdiving asshole. Shit shit shit. |
