Friday, October 22, 2004

Flying Circus Veterans for Truth 

President Bush has words with the Almighty
Terry Jones
"George, of course I'm listening - it's you who is not listening to Me!"
"And I'll tell you why! 'Cause You ain't addressing me right."
"What d'you mean, you jumped-up little Ivy League draft-dodger?"
"If you're so 'omniscient', God, you oughta know that you gotta go through Karl Rove, John Ashcroft, Rumsey and Dick ... those fellas know what they're talking about! I can't listen to just any deity who can pick up the phone!"
"But, I'm God, George!"
"Does Karl say you are?"
"But why do you believe Karl?"
"Because my gut tells me he's right!"

How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

None. There’s nothing wrong with that light bulb. There is no need to change anything. We made the right decision and nothing has happened to change our minds. People who criticize this light bulb now, just because it doesn’t work anymore, supported us when we first screwed it in, and when these flip-floppers insist on saying that it is burned out, they are merely giving aid and encouragement to the Forces of Darkness.
-- John Cleese

Eric Idle's FCC Song
So fuck you very much, Dear Mr. Bush
For heroically sitting on your tush
For Halliburton, Enron, all the companies who fail
Let's send them a clear signal and stick Martha straight in jail
She's an uppity rich bitch
and at least she isn't male
So fuck you all so very much

So fuck you dickhead Mr. Cheney too
Fuck you and fuck everything you do
Your pacemaker must be a fake
You haven't got a heart
As far as I'm concerned you're just a pasty-faced old fart

Michael Palin tries the nice approach:
Michael Palin is looking for the next destination to beam into your living room or to thump on your coffee table in a book. Ever affable, he's open to suggestions. "It's got to be somewhere remote and rather difficult with bad food," he says. How about Palin's Axis of Evil - Iraq, Iran and North Korea?

"That would be a good series," he says, laughing. "It would be very different to George Bush's axis of evil. But he would say (imitating Bush) 'What do you know, Mike? You don't know these guys. You're too nice.' If you go have tea with Saddam Hussein, you could possibly be too nice. (But) I'd quite like to go to Iraq."
"In a rather woolly and unfocused way I think that if you can somehow bring people together, so you can see that the family in the middle of Kansas is very similar in many ways to a family in Egypt, that would be an enormous benefit because they just don't think that way," he says.

"For a start, people in the middle of Kansas probably don't know where Egypt is. Egypt is a Muslim country and Muslims are all out to get us. There's just a huge, sweeping swathe of ignorance out there.

Even the not-very-funny (but very Minnesotan) one:
"I'm not sure if enough people in America have gotten wind of what's about to happen now — and, if it does happen, whether it's right or wrong. That may be the only difference. But we certainly have criminals in the White House. These are even more successful than the last time. I mean, Nixon and company were kind of petty in their ambitions. These guys are ruthless beyond belief, and boy, are they pocketing a lot of money." - Terry Gilliam

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