Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Pound the Prairie Pavement, Losin' Proposition  

I'm proud to say I helped Dennis Kucinich to his amazing 4th-place finish in New York. I'm one of the select 35,700 who supports the man who represents precisely why progressive politics are no longer taken seriously in this country.

But, hey -- I don't mean to sound too snarky about the one guy in the race who doesn't decide positions based on political expediency. To paraphrase Randy Newman, he may be a flake, but he's our flake.

But I'm bored of the presidential race already, now that it's dominated the newsmedia for more than one month. As of today, I'm devoting myself to my new campaign to Save the SuperSizes!

Yes, McDonald's is phasing out their popular kilolitre size-upgrade option, but not because of the popularity of health food, the obesity epidemic, or that documentary about the guy who eats McDonalds every day and nearly kills himself. No, they're doing it for the sake of simplicity.
"This core menu, which has been under development since 2002, simplifies our menu and restaurant operations and provides a balance of choices for our customers," he said. "A component of this overall simplification, menu and balanced lifestyle strategy is the ongoing phase-out of the Supersize fry and the Supersize drink options."

Really, this is a minimalist artistic performance by a multi-national corporation. They are reducing the menu, and the entire McDonald's experience, to its essence, stripping away everything extraneous, examining what remains, and trying to define what McDonald's really means. I wish them luck.

(Here's a hint: It's that chemical flavor they use to simulate the animal fat they claim they no longer fry the fries in)

Here's something to ponder too, before you get too upset: "Supersize fries are a 7-ounce carton. McDonald's will still sell 'large' fries, the 6-ounce size, Riker said."

So -- when you demanded to be Supersized, you were getting only one extra, paltry ounce.

Pathetic. I've lost interest in this campaign now as well.

Ooooh! Seattle has a new mechanized public toilet! I wonder what that lovable Frasier Crane would have to say about such a thing? Something witty, no doubt!

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